She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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