Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You're like the curious george of whores
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
