Kiss
Puke
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
