YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
