No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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