i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
