Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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