Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
try to milk me bitch
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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