420 ftw
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
