white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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