Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
