On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
NoShamevember. You game?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
