Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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