Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
