I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
