I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
