I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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