i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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