Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
