Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I want her autograph on my taint
Let's paint friendship bongs
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
