Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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