whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
