If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
