i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
