I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i was born a porn star she said
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize