I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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