"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
