Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Pappa wants mamma naked
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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