I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
