Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
