I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize