Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
