Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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