Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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