I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
