thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I got inside last night via doggy door
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize