Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
