I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
