i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
