i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
