Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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