What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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