weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
