i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
