She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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