they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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