NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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