mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
