I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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