So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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