I looked at my own cervix.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just blew my weed a kiss
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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