where am i from again
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
