Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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