end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Your cock deserves a montage
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
