What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
