8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
