we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
