nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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