is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
