He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
