Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
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