CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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