OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
